Saying NO to sexual abusers and harassers is still a choice
Posted by Afam Nnaji | 9 months ago | 417 times
You enable and encourage the sexual harassers and abusers by making it look like the female students don't have any choice or cannot say NO to them!
Instead of you to encourage and advice female students to say NO regardless of the consequences you would rather speak grammar about the lecturer not having morals, self control, being a dog etc and at the end of the day a female student that may have said NO once and retained her dignity would have slept with every randy lecturer that demanded for sex from her first year to her final year and to what end?
Grades? A certificate she may never use or need?
Life is not fair and we must prepare the young ones to realize this very early in life. We must constantly remind them that there is always a choice to be made when they are sexually harassed or abused by older people in position of authority.
As someone that spent close to 70% of his time in the university in the student center I had my fair share of threats from lecturers who even made it clear that I would be punished for refusing to buy handouts and I always told them that I do not need their help and that I would challenge any result I believe wasn't mine and that they are free to give me an F if I failed the course but that should they give me an F when I actually did well in the exam that I would take the matter to the highest level up to the senate.
Of course, some still punished me by giving me a C, D or E even when I could have gotten an A or B. Did it bother me? Nope. None failed me because I couldn't have failed any course and they knew that much.
I realized early in life that the race is not for the swift and that nothing was certain as far as the future was concerned so your effort today could mean nothing tomorrow if you slept and failed to wake up in the morning.
My former HOD told me he was proud of me when he told me my final result because he knew what some lecturers did to me but their actions didn't matter much because the decent ones gave me grades I merited so things evened out at the end of the day.
Years later I refused to go offshore to relieve someone that needed to travel out of the country for a meeting even after going through the water survival training at QIT because I learned from a colleague that was familiar with the platform in question that the communication equipment and the life capsule on that platform were defective.
He told me that my boss would not be happy with me and I told him that my life was actually far more important to me than the job and that the same email that would be sent out to announce my passing should I lose my life would most likely have the name of my replacement in it. I called Lagos office and asked the logistics officer to change my flight arrangement and I returned to Lagos the next day.
Sometimes, we are afraid of nothing in the final analysis. Too much fear, too much apprehension. We take a lot of bullshit and nonsense all in the name of keeping a job, getting a certificate, remaining in a relationship or remaining relevant.
A female student that said NO and was punished for saying NO is better than another female student that probably slept with all the randy lecturers she came across in her 4 or 5 years of her stay in the university just because she needed a certificate.
There is always a choice and we must remind our young ones to bear that in mind.
We cheapen our women when we make it look like they are powerless and do not have any option when bullies and sexual harassers come for them.